Without further ado: To Spanx or Not to Spanx?

As promised, the mystery of the spank during Dirty Sanchez fiesta time shall now be revealed to you as not an actual spank, but actually Spanx (oh, come on! I had to keep the suspense going somehow ;). And though I am certain most of you beautiful fashionistas and forward fellas know all about the Spanx, before I begin my illustrious commentary a little introduction is well warranted...

So, as FABulous and flabbyless as Spanx are, the reality of the situation is there are just some things that Spanx cannot do. Therefore, the question becomes "To Spanx or not to Spanx?"

I now give to you a hilariously and slightly offensive series of spanxing:

First of all... my gorgeous voluptuous women of the world, while spanx certainly will help you to shape those fanciful curves into savory eye appealing glamour... 

Image source: As seen on Stiletto Jungle, New & Hot: Spanx To Match Your Skintone.

They are NOT permission to try and squeeze into a size four!

She is mypheme and she is stinkin hilarious! Girl, you are gorgeouser without the Spanx <3 Just sayin.

Don't EVEN get me started on the pee hole! Seriously? Ladies, unless you can aim or desire to smell like urine due to peeing all over yourself, please, p-l-e-a-s-suh! Do not attempt to pee through a tiny hole in the bottom of your under-roos. Ever.